Dating: The Charcoal in My Stocking

Dating. Such a (perfected) science. I remember dating in high school. You had a crush on the boy with thick Justin Bieber-eqsue hair that bounced lusciously when he played hacky sack with his friends (thanks Perk Plus). You would approach him at his locker…ready for your heart to pop out of your butt…

…and you would ask him for if you could wear his sweatshirt. Because it was cold. And you only wore your American Eagle tank to school. And then you would be boyfriend/girlfriend.

In college, depending on how you fell into dating someone – it was pretty self explanatory. You would meet them at a bar, or in  your Spanish class and it was a dream come reality after a few rail drinks true.  You would attend all of the same parties together, walk to class hand in hand, splurge on a Wednesday night dinner at Punch Pizza, or watch a Red Box movie on your laptop in your dorm room.  Awww, young love.

But now, I am catapulted into the real world like an infant. Taking those first gasps of single and un-employed air. And I’m left kicking and screaming…wondering…how to people do it? How do you date after college?

I mean, it seems simple enough. Drop your orange in the produce aisle and let it roll over to the cutie near the tomatoes and BOOM, you have yourself a date night. But no, life ain’t a Cameron Diaz movie. And it’s a scary world out there folks!  I understand what dating entails. To be honest I would bypass first dates any day.  I’m pretty shy and if I was put in a chair across from someone who was as shy as me? Take me home now.  Also, I’m just not used to it. My entire life I’ve been borrowing boys sweatshirts and sharing drinks from the hottie across the bar – so I guess the grown up world can get the best of me.

But am I completely foreign if I’m a little scared to date?  In college, before I liked anyone – I would get to know them through small knit groups of friends, a class, a house party, studying abroad. I met someone I dated from a study abroad trip.  We became really close friends and then dated.  Now, I am slightly nervous to go out there and meet someone (whom I don’t know which dorm they live in) for dinner.  I know I need to branch out. I know I need to remain open-minded. But transitioning is difficult.

My philosophy: If I got over the phase of borrowing boys sweatshirts, I can just as easily go on a date with someone whom I didn’t play beer pong with last weekend, or meet in my Finite Math 101 class.

Baby steps…

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Author:bechaffee

University of Saint Thomas graduate. Minnesota-bred and happy to talk about the weather any time you’d like! Strongly believes any situation can be bettered by a slice of generously buttered toast or Phil Dunphy. Would get arrested to touch Justin Timberlake’s face. Always trying to be a better person by not wishing horrible karma on people driving slow in the fast lane. Hear more: @twitter @instagram

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