My Favorite Bite-Sized Nugget: Justin Bieber

Dear friends/readers/whoever is out there listening: Justin Bieber (who I like to now call; Bite Sized Nugget)  is one fellow that will not die alone.

I noticed this today, on a (not so leisurely) stroll through the Target Center, in hopes Justin Bieber would find ‘one less lonely girl’ in my totally-in-love little sister.
Yep. I attended a Justin Bieber concert.
Go ahead and pity me if you please, sympathize for me, laugh at me, it’s your call. But I had a great time. Going into the extravaganza, I was feeling a little old. Suddenly, my boobs felt 10 times bigger and my purse was bumping into every teeny tween and they looked up under their bedazzled Limited Too hats like I had stolen their Oreo. I was in a world of adolescents.

Let me explain to you the scene.  Besides the thousands upon thousands of tweenie boppers, I would love to have received the actual number of man-count at this concert. The only dudes I saw were young boys that had yet to peak their heads from the closet and dads drinking too much beer.  Seriously, one dad had his beer in one hand and in his other hand? A possesed fist-pumping man-clench. The girls however, looked like they spent more years in the mirror than they had lived.  Corn rows, glitter, zebra leggings – you name it, they had it. I do believe every young girl there, actually believed Justin Bieber was going to be their first lay. . .while he sang ‘One Time’ to them, and thrusted a bushel of roses in their arms.

After spending my first born child ($35) on a black shirt with a sticky JBeebs printed face-shot  for my eager sis, we moved on to our seats.
She was gnawing at the bit to catch a glimpse of the Beebs and quite honestly, so was I. Was he really a little munchkin? Did he look like Peterpan? How shiny are his locks?  Everyone else was wondering the same. I can’t even begin to explain the mayhem. Dudes were selling cotton candy and I wanted them to stop. The kiddies were jacked already on pure and passionate Beebs-love. They don’t need that pure and passionate via sugar either!  God help us all.

The minute the lights went down, I thought someone was slicing my head in half via squealing children. I thought the building was collapsing. I thought God had ascended from the ceiling of the Target Center, to bless a winning season on the Timberwolves…
But no. Not quite. God, (in bowl cut form) appeared behind a massive fog machine. My sister started bawling, I took a picture of her against her will and then gawked at the little man child on stage. 5′ 3′ and taking over the world.
Justin Bieber.

Actual solid evidence, my sister produced tears.

The concert was really great. I will admit it – I have every song of his memorized and downloaded on my itunes. He is a talented lil’ chap. Youtube ‘Justin Bieber Respect’ and you’ll understand where I’m coming from. He puts on quite the show. Beyond making tons of little girls want to through their Dora The Explorer underpants on stage, he even made me fist pump a couple times.

And at one point during the show, he sat in a metal heart shaped object, which allowed him to float above a herd of screaming tweens. He played his guitar and during the end of the song, made a heart shape with his pointer fingers and thumb at his die-hards and sent many to the moon and back.

That’s why I decided the boy will never die alone. He his entire age group in woman (and men) lined up across the world for him. And you can tell he is a genuine little dude. So cute with his skinny little boy arms, I could pinch his cheeks off. His face cheeks.

So there is my story. My story of my quest, in the depths of a tween stampede we know as: Justin Bieber. I didn’t need a mouth-guard or knee-pads for my journey. I survived.

I need to find me a jumbo-sized adult JBeebs. Pronto.

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Author:bechaffee

University of Saint Thomas graduate. Minnesota-bred and happy to talk about the weather any time you’d like! Strongly believes any situation can be bettered by a slice of generously buttered toast or Phil Dunphy. Would get arrested to touch Justin Timberlake’s face. Always trying to be a better person by not wishing horrible karma on people driving slow in the fast lane. Hear more: @twitter @instagram

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