Hooking Up: Girls Just Want to Have Fun. . .Right?

In college, hooking up comes as natural as canning two Red Bull 30 minutes deep into a study session. I mean, in all honesty, what do you expect coming out of a slew of kids just out of high school and placed in a small colony of dorm rooms?  Think about the first night you went out in college.  That constant pressure to hook up with people looms amongst everybody like the haze of a drunk-buzz, but it bothers no one.  It’s not shunned upon in college, it’s expected.  Since I flipped through the many college brochures in high school, I had my own college inner fantasy.  I saw frat boys making out with sorority girls under a sycamore tree in the quad a Sports Illustrated swimsuit poster while double-fisting a Coors, Van Wilder and Spring Break MTV on Miami Beach.  To me, college stands as a get-by-free pass for having fun and making out.

I’m not saying everyone hooks up in college but for the people that do, I’m saying it’s expected.  And for some, it’s exciting.  Meeting new prospect hook-ups you’ll most likely regret in the morning and dish with your roomies, is as expected as walking into the library and walking out with a book. It’s free and returnable.

Under most circumstances, girls will say hooking up is fun and carefree.  After a few beers, there is nothing wrong with making out and fooling around with a cute college boy that has a baby-face and likes to dance with you next to the beer pong table.  And hooking up doesn’t have to involve drinking either.  We’re all familiar with the term ‘booty-call.’  Simple attraction can ignite hook-ups and the ‘no strings attached’ attitude.  That’s why hooking up is fun!  You never have to worry about meeting parents, what his favorite baseball team is, or if you should text him or call him the next day.

But, then I got to thinking.  What if hook-ups are caused for a deeper reason than ‘I just want to let loose and have fun?’  Before I say this next statement, you somehow have to bare with me.  I read ‘I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell’ by Tucker Max.  Whew, OK, punch a pillow or something pretending it’s my face.  Now that we got that out of the way; here’s why I think Mr.Max may have made a valid point.  He once stated that he goes for girls whom are insecure, because they are the easiest to hook up with.  Ignoring the fact that Tucker Max introduced this concept to me, hear me out.

What if hooking up is more than fun and games?  What if we hook up because we’re insecure? Think about it, insecurities are a very tangible point for hooking up.  Insecurities make people do silly things and hooking up does not surpass them.  Although we may think we’re “having fun” are we really only just fulfilling a void that our insecurities engulf? Insecurities make us feel unloved and unwanted; is hooking up a vice to help us feel like we’re loved and wanted, if only momentarily?

The attention gained from a hook-up feels positive and real.  For as long as a hook-up lasts (whether it’s for a night, or an on-going affair) they make us feel better. You’re with a guy that is clearly attracted to you enough to be rolling around the sheets with you. Insecurities can make anyone arrogant about their own feelings and unaware of what’s really going to make them feel better.  Are we arrogant to the true feelings gained from a hook-up?  Do we play them in our head to be “fun” when really, they are a failed attempt in emotional attentiveness?

I think insecurities can also seep in if you’re avoiding a relationship.  And hooking up is a perfect way to do so.  Do insecurities when we hook up go further?  Are our insecurities going far enough to use hooking up as a defense mechanism into having a real, healthy relationship?

If this is all true, Tucker Max was actually right.  Yes, I used Tucker Max and the word ‘right’ (indicating Max is correct) in the same sentence.  If he landed the insecure chick, hooking up with her was going to be knocking at his doorstep.  But then comes that “fun” factor again.  Why can’t girls hook-up and be perfectly confident and completely in it for fun?  Can we have a solid hook-up completely sans insecurity? Or is insecurity in a hook-up as expected as the awkward walk-of-shame in the morning?

You make the call.

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University of Saint Thomas graduate. Minnesota-bred and happy to talk about the weather any time you’d like! Strongly believes any situation can be bettered by a slice of generously buttered toast or Phil Dunphy. Would get arrested to touch Justin Timberlake’s face. Always trying to be a better person by not wishing horrible karma on people driving slow in the fast lane. Hear more: @twitter @instagram


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4 Comments on “Hooking Up: Girls Just Want to Have Fun. . .Right?”

  1. July 31, 2010 at 10:26 pm #

    Yes I know that girls hook up to be reassured that they are desirable and also because this is a way to get boys to hold them.

    If you want to have a real relationship and I know that you do deep down inside, y0u need to stop hooking up and being somebodies booty call and hold out for a committed relatiionship before you go for the horizontal mombo. Men rarely respect a girl who hooks up with him on the first date or first meeting. No respect means no relationship and being simply objuectified as a piece of ass. Theser are the hard cold cruel facts, I am just the messenger.

    Blessings on you and yours
    John Wilder

  2. August 2, 2010 at 12:38 pm #

    Check out my response to this blog!



  1. Beat Alcoholism 101 - August 1, 2010

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  2. Hooking Up: Some Girls Do Just Have Fun « Don't Forget to Smile - August 2, 2010

    […] Hooking Up: Some Girls Do Just Have Fun 2 08 2010 **Blog in response to Brittany Chaffee’s Hooking Up: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun…Right?** […]

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