The Black Box Diaries: Under Construction

So, for the record-I think my blog is ugly. Let’s just say it’s still growing.  The Diaries is currently in its awkward middle school stage. And before it hits full bloggy puberty, here’s what still needs to happen:

1. New font. But I need to save my hard earned cash to pop for a fancier Times New Roman.

2. Better photography. Because I can’t (FOR THE LOVE OF MARTHA) figure out my new Nixon camera.

3. More developed ideas/topics. My mind is a scatter box of emotions and thoughts–until I straighten some of that sh*t up up there, my articles will be random, flaky and full of typos. I suppose if there is a problem, know this. Men that can’t use correct grammar in random tweets and Facebook updates turn me off (even if they play a professional sport). So don’t feel bad if you simply can’t stick around!

4. Someday soon, I promise to have all of this figured out.

5. UNTIL THEN, I’m brainstorming a new developing layout plan for zeeee blog. I will be spending a day in January in a photo shoot. That’s right, I’m picking two looks to sport for the newly updated look. I will be modeling with my hot pink laptop on a bed (because that’s where I usually am). I will have a spray tan. I will be wearing extensions. And rest assured, I NEVER look like that when I blog. In fact right now, I’m wearing man sweat pants, picking my face off and I just ate a Butterfinger.

But I don’t trust people who don’t have photos of themselves on their blogs. So mine will be popping up somewhere on here in about 3 months. YAY! The Black Box Diaries is getting all growed up!

So while you’re waiting, here are my ideas for photo shoot looks. I can choose from two looks. I want to have one with me and my laptop because we are mythical lovers, duh. I want it to be sweet and colorful. And capture everything I’m wishing I was while blogging-even though I really smell like potatoes when I blog. The second look needs to be sexy and fierce. Because I need to make up for that last comment I made about me smelling like potatoes. I want people to think I smell like vampire sex. What do you think?

Bed/Laptop look.

Bed/laptop look #2

 

Me-trying-to-be-sexy-not-fart look

 

Me trying to be sexy look #2

 

Me BEING sexy look #3

 

Victoria's Secret dress potential for "sexy look"

 

Victoria's Secret dress potential for "sexy look"

 

Victoria's Secret dress potential for "sexy look"

So, for my very few readers…what do you think?  Do you have any other great ideas? Should I dress up like a cowgirl and straddle a hay bale? Maybe–should I dress up in a Starbucks costume and roll around in some coffee beans? Throw it at me. Not very hard though.

Basically **ehem in sexy, scratchy non-serial killer voice** “tell me how you want me.”

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Categories: Uncategorized

Author:bechaffee

University of Saint Thomas graduate. Minnesota-bred and happy to talk about the weather any time you’d like! Strongly believes any situation can be bettered by a slice of generously buttered toast or Phil Dunphy. Would get arrested to touch Justin Timberlake’s face. Always trying to be a better person by not wishing horrible karma on people driving slow in the fast lane. Hear more: @twitter @instagram

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