Tasteful Thinking: The Proposal+Big Moments

One of my great girlfriends took a large breath over the phone and yelped,

“I’m engaged!!!”

And I jumped up and down for her. I was standing next to my horse in an enclosed arena. When she told me the news, I could no longer smell the pungent dark dirt and I could no longer feel the winter cold on my fingertips. The blood rushed gallently through my veins and I could taste the excitement for her rise to my lips. We squealed. My horse looked at me with the whites of his marble eyes. In their glossy reflection I saw my face.

My reaction was something equal to what it would be if my pants had been pulled down in public. After I finished showering her with congrats and asking every single question I could (when, where, how did he do it, how long is the engagement, etc. etc.) I put my phone in my pocket. I strained my neck to look at the roof of the barn and moved a step to let a small slit of sunlight in the barn cover my leg. Aside from sweet horse breaths and my own shallow breathing—I craved warmth.

I couldn’t put my mind around the news. My friend was getting married. My friend had chosen someone she wanted to spend her entire life with. Her entire life. Her entire life. Her entire life. Forever. Why couldn’t I wrap my head around this? I felt like a black lab that didn’t know how to control my emotions and body at the same time. I felt like the dirt on the ground. A little stepped on, a little pieced around, a little stationary.

Big moments for others strike a large string in my mindful, personal emotion-guitar. And now my mind was a symphony of comparing questions.

The biggest one?

Where is my big moment? And am I too immature to every let it happen?

Then my eyes flooded with tears and moments later were wide with surprise. Surprise because I couldn’t believe I was overlapping someone else’s big moment with my own personal worry that I would never have one.

Big moments are about being happy for other people-so when yours come…the positive energy and opportunity to bask the moment in unselfish glory, will be a swung open door.

 

You do what you do. And they do what they do.

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Categories: Life & Happiness

Author:bechaffee

University of Saint Thomas graduate. Minnesota-bred and happy to talk about the weather any time you’d like! Strongly believes any situation can be bettered by a slice of generously buttered toast or Phil Dunphy. Would get arrested to touch Justin Timberlake’s face. Always trying to be a better person by not wishing horrible karma on people driving slow in the fast lane. Hear more: @twitter @instagram

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